youthspeakoutint.orgText Talk: The Difference Between Nice and Mean
When you write something to another person, one thing you might find difficult to communicate is your tone. The other person cannot hear the emotion in your voice or see the expression on your face. Some things can sound nice or rude depending on how you say them, but in a text message, you can’t show that you’re smiling. Emoticons can help. We can also use abbreviations to show that we’re laughing (LOL) or surprised (OMG). Yet, you might still find yourself sending or receiving a message that triggers the wrong feelings. This activity is a fun way to practice saying and hearing the emotional meaning behind someone’s words. Notice how different we sound when we say something with kindness or cruelty, then think about what happens when the same thing is just a text message.
Begin by choosing the appropriate grade level for the child or children in your family:
What You Will Need
- Small sheets of paper
- Pen or pencil
- Bowl or container
Activity
- Parents or guardians, help your child come up with nice, kind, or thoughtful things that they might say to someone. These can be compliments (like “your room is clean”), or they can start with “thank you” or “I’m sorry.” Write these on separate pieces of paper. Here are some examples:
- Put the sentences in a bowl or container.
- Take turns pulling one sentence out of the bowl and reading it two times.
- The first time you read it, say it with kindness.
- The second time, try saying it with a mean or sarcastic tone of voice.
- Can you tell the difference? Which one was nice and which one was mean?
- Using a mobile phone or audio recorder, record you or your child saying a sentence in these two different ways.
Here’s an example of a teenage boy saying “Wow, that’s amazing” nicely and then sarcastically. Can you tell the difference?
Talk About It
After you complete the steps above, discuss the following questions:
- Was it hard to know whether the sentence was spoken in a nice way or a mean way?
- If the sentence was written down (as in a text message), how would you know if it was nice or mean?
- What can you do if someone writes something to you that sounds mean, but you’re not sure?
What You Will Need
- Small sheets of paper
- Pen or pencil
- Bowl or container
- One or more family members
Activity
- Start by completing this quick Text Talk quiz. How many texting acronyms (like LOL and BRB) do you know? You can view your score after you submit your answers.
- Next, on separate pieces of paper, write down nice, kind, or thoughtful things that you might say to someone. These can be compliments (like “your room is clean”), or they can start with “thank you” or “I’m sorry.” Here are some examples:
- Put your sentences in a bowl or container.
- Take turns pulling one sentence out of the bowl and reading it two times.
- Say it with kindness.
- Try saying it with a mean or sarcastic tone of voice.
The first time could be nice, and the second time could be mean, or you can switch them around, and say it sarcastically the first time and kindly the second time.
- Can you tell the difference? If two or more family members are participating, ask those who are not speaking to identify which time was nice and which time was mean.
- Using a mobile phone or audio recorder, record yourself saying a sentence in these two different ways.
Here’s an example of a teenage boy saying “Wow, that’s amazing” nicely and then sarcastically. Can you tell the difference?
Talk About It
After you complete the steps above, discuss the following questions with your family:
- How can you tell the difference between something say with kindness and the same words said sarcastically?
- If you receive a nice text message, how do you know whether the person is being nice or mean?
- How many Text Talk terms did you know? Which ones do you use the most? Are there other popular terms that are used frequently by you or your family?
What You Will Need
- Small sheets of paper
- Pen or pencil
- Bowl or container
- One or more family members
Activity
- Start by completing this quick Text Talk quiz. How many texting acronyms (like LOL and BRB) do you know? You can view your score after you submit your answers.
- Next, on separate pieces of paper, write down nice, kind, or thoughtful things that you might say to someone. These can be compliments (like “your room is clean”), or they can start with “thank you” or “I’m sorry.” Here are some examples:
- Put your sentences in a bowl or container.
- Take turns pulling one sentence out of the bowl and reading it two times.
- Say it with kindness.
- Try saying it with a mean or sarcastic tone of voice.
The first time could be nice, and the second time could be mean, or you can switch them around, and say it sarcastically the first time and kindly the second time.
- Can you tell the difference? If two or more family members are participating, ask those who are not speaking to identify which time was nice and which time was mean.
- Using a mobile phone or audio recorder, record yourself saying a sentence in these two different ways.
Here’s an example of a teenage boy saying “Wow, that’s amazing” nicely and then sarcastically. Can you tell the difference?
Talk About It
After you complete the steps above, discuss the following questions with your family:
- How can you tell the difference between kind words and sarcasm? What do you do with your voice to sound kind or to sound rude?
- Have you ever received a text message or a message on the internet that sounded mean even though the words were nice? For example, if someone write “whatever” after you tell them what happened in class, can that feel okay OR bad?
- Are text acronyms, like LOL, OMG, or GTG, sometimes nice and sometimes rude? How can you tell whether someone is being kind or sarcastic?
- If someone writes a message, and you’re not sure whether they’re being nice or rude, what can you do?
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